Myriad of Thoughts

Headset on?  Listening to music

Eyes closed? Sleeping

Meeting? Busy

Slim? Weak

G? Loadsa money

SLR? Great photos

Analytics? Complicated

Got any to add?

…my silver springs… playing in the background….

It’s one of those days when random thoughts try to mar a perfect day….

I like this place – I didn’t expect myself to and now it’s leaving me a li’l disturbed (?). I miss home but I don’t call – If I do, I’d run out of things to say in a few mins…I don’t call friends each day – I miss them too!

There are things I do and things I don’t – not every thing’s right! That’s the hardest part I guess – to accept that the crappy part belongs to me, to know that I could say mean things, to know that I could mess up someone for life… to know that ’sorry’ has a limited reach….
Time for me to stop, lest I say something I shouldn’t!

Note: Ya, am tempted to delete this post but then….I hit Publish!

This is the state of my desk Ya, I know, it looks more like a whiteboard …my secret pastime… Normally, I don’t take pictures – I don’t think they are great enough to be pictures – ‘coz most of they are scribbles so bad, the house keeping guys don’t miss a chance to clean my desk So, took a pic of this one by chance – sent it to a friend, and he liked it! So, here it is for all to see? Any comments?

According to YouThink.com, I am a dog. Well, not really! The answer to ‘What animal would best suit your personality?’ is ‘A Dog.’ Am I more like a dog or is a dog more like me!!! You can find the full text here.

And now, I’ve come across something called a Johari Window. Joe Luft and Harry Ingham were researching human personality at the University of California in the 1950’s when they devised their Johari Window. Using a form of word derivation normally reserved for suburban house names, they based the title on their two first names. Rather than measuring personality, the Window offers a way of looking at how personality is expressed. (Ref: www.chimaeraconsulting.com)

And, mine can be found here. The results should be quite interesting….so, let’s see what people think about me…

What animal would best suit your personality?

A DOG.

You are one of the best friends that someone could ever ask for. A very loyal, compassionate person who is always there for close friends and family members who are in a tough time. You are someone who can be counted on time and time again and never let small grudges get in the way of a good friendship. But unfortunately, you are very dependant, and every now and then someone will take advantage of your loyalty, and it is most often not until you end up hurt that you realised your foolishness.

This is what I found after answering a few questions at YouThink.com. It is for me to read and for you to comment… so, what do you think?

13.3.
It was there in my goody bag – spiral bound, logo at the bottom of every page – looking real neat. Ya, that’s the notebook am talking about. I got it the day I joined Google and it has been with me ever since…. I’ve written, scribbled, and loaded it with a bunch of papers – brochures, prints, write ups… in fact, there are so many papers, the notebook is double its size…it’s been with me to umpteen meetings, training sessions… it’s been with me each time I visited Chennai…each time I traveled some place…
Whenever I researched something online or heard about something I wanted to research….well, you know where you’d find them…

…and I lost it this morning…

I walked in with the notebook in hand because I didn’t want to forget what I wanted to do, walked into the café on my way up, and left my notebook there. It was about 2 hours before I realized what I’ve done, and I’ve been searching since then. Haven’t found it yet… been asking the security guards all day…no luck so far….

Will I ever see it again?

14.3

Yaayyyyyy…. I found it…

God only knows how much I’ve missed it!

For the past few days, this thought has been at the back of my mind… and last night, well it was 3am this morning…when I lay down in bed, I could not sleep …wrote it down before I went to sleep…

The comparison of what I am today with what kinda person I wanted to be when I was a kid.

When you were a kid, did you ever create an image of yourself – the person you’d like to be when you grow up? I am not talking about your professional life, we all do that when we are kids…I am talking about the personal life. Have you ever thought of the values you’d hold close to your heart, the principles you’d live by, and the kind of person you’d be at the end of the day? If you did think about these things, what do you see now? Are you living up to that childhood image of yourself? Are you better or worse?

I used to think about this when I was a kid and I had this strong image of the person I’d be – a person of strong heart, living by my values and principles, seeing the world in black and white, changing the world one day at a time, living the kinda life that inspires people, adopting children, and stuff like that.

Now, when I look back, I find that I have achieved some of these, gone wayward in some others, and yet to try some others. Honestly, I don’t think I would be a perfect fit anymore. For better or worse, I don’t think I can ever be the person I thought I would be.

What about you?

Lyrics from “I am” of Hillary Duff… Can’t help but think it’s about me. So much like me….there are some who think am an angel and there are others who think I am such a pain in life… I know I can be both….
A big thank you for those who think I am wonderful and a bigger sorry for those who find me a pain….

I’m an angel, I’m a devil
I am sometimes in between
I’m as bad it can get
And good as it can be
Sometimes I’m a million colors
Sometimes I’m black and white
I am all extremes
Try figure me out you never can
There’s so many things I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
I’m powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I’m miserable
Sometimes I’m pitiful
But that’s so typical of all the things I am

I’m someone filled with self-belief
I’m haunted by self-doubt
I’ve got all the answers
I’ve got nothing figured out
I like to be by myself
I hate to be alone
I’m up and I am down
But that’s part of the thrill
Part of the plan
Part of all of the things I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
I’m powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I’m miserable
Sometimes I’m pitiful
But that’s so typical of all the things I am

I’m a million contradictions
Sometimes I make no sense
Sometimes I’m perfect
Sometimes I’m a mess
Sometimes I’m not sure who I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I’m miserable
Sometimes I’m pitiful
But that’s so typical of all the things I am
–

If there was someone like you, would you talk to that person?

Am not talking about the way you look…am talking about the real person…the person without the mask you wear for the world.

If you met someone like that, Would you talk?

Think about it….

I really don’t know what happened to me last evening. I left work at 8:30pm – tired and exhausted – looking forward to the comfort of this space I call home. I need to mention, I had one of those not-so-pleasant conversations earlier in the evening.
I was really trying very hard to convince someone who thinks I am convinced that I am not confused and that I am really happy. Ironically, the book am reading right now has also deals with a psychiatrist who is convinced that her patient is delusional and the patient is trying to convince her that he is not!!! In the story, he manages to convince the psychiatrist.
After a long day, this didn’t do much to make the day any better. I got out of office to a very windy Hyderabad, cooler temperature… it was quite pleasant when I got home.
After I left the doors and windows open, I felt supercharged …. I felt like a kid – singing away to glory, dancing, even spinning around only to stop and feel the ground moving beneath me…
Must be the wind…