…my silver springs… playing in the background….

It’s one of those days when random thoughts try to mar a perfect day….

I like this place – I didn’t expect myself to and now it’s leaving me a li’l disturbed (?). I miss home but I don’t call – If I do, I’d run out of things to say in a few mins…I don’t call friends each day – I miss them too!

There are things I do and things I don’t – not every thing’s right! That’s the hardest part I guess – to accept that the crappy part belongs to me, to know that I could say mean things, to know that I could mess up someone for life… to know that ‘sorry’ has a limited reach….
Time for me to stop, lest I say something I shouldn’t!

Note: Ya, am tempted to delete this post but then….I hit Publish!

Jan 31 – I went from

To

Yes, here’s one more nostalgic post! The first milestone was 1 year in Hyd – yes, Jan 8, 2006 was the day I landed in Hyd wondering what I’ve gotten myself into, doubting my sanity, my ability to cope, and wishing I had stayed back in the great land of Chennai!

And then, days flew – as it can happen only when you work, work, and work – and then travel whenever you are free! It was the end of 2006 when I got to know quite an illustriuos friend… someone who made me walk around the biggest exhibition in Hyd before inviting me for his travel adventures. And there started our travelling spree – visiting just about every place around hyd!

Half way into the year, it was time to move to a new team, a new product – keeps you busy and learning for a while and, at the same time, makes you miss your buddies! It was a year of changes with friends across floors trying to stay in touch, catching up for lunch… and ended the year on a high note with my best friend’s desk quite close to mine! What a joy!

And then came Hampi-Jog Falls-Hogenakkal – after much preparation, the trip was one of the most memorable! The trek to reach the bottom of the falls, to be surrounded by walls of rock and stand there in the midst of the mist and the rain – is something to be experienced!

As if I had been too happy all along, there came the lull and swept me away! Fell in love and fell out of love too… Don’t wanna make the same mistake again! never ever….

Made new friends, got in touch with old friends and really, really old friends – thanks to social networking! I never thought I would get in touch with my classmates after 14 years of silence! Oh, the joy of getting in touch with old friends! … and the sadness of losing friends… and the mystery of people who are friends one day, not so friendly the next, friends again a few days later… Why do I even put up with them? I don’t know!!

Got a lot more online presence! A few blogs and, finally, a website! Though, not completely functional yet

All of this interspersed with visits to good ‘ole Chennai … the beach, Spencers, City Center, Coffee Day at Anna nagar… meeting friends, shopping till I dropped (quite literally!), fainting at a bus stop and getting hurt as if I fell from a bike!….

It’s been a year of brands, electronics, and going online big time – right from purchases to payments – all without a credit card … a year of delayed train arrivals, some crazy travelling, sleeping in a car, watching the sun rise over a dam… and some photography along the way!

Just as every other year, it was full of surprises that made me happy, and disappointments that drained me away! But then, the year ends on a happy note and let’s me look forward to the next year – I’ve travelled far and wanna travel more… I’ve taken risks and will take more… I’ve learnt and will learn more…Wonder what 2008 holds for me!

Well, it has been ages since I had the urge to post something …but something changed this week…it is that feeling you have when the statistics becomes a gruesome reality…when that one more accident on the road happens too close home that it is not a statistic anymore….
This week began on a pretty good note – a lot of people were celebrating the valentine’s day; I was asked by umpteen people about my boyfriend (the one am yet to find), the number of roses I got (which was zero!) and so on. But for me, it was just another Monday.
After such a Monday, I woke on Tuesday to find a freaky accident in the newspaper – it was about a lorry that had hit and killed a couple (who had incidentally got their daughter engaged the previous day and were on the way to book a wedding hall), the police had got another driver take this vehicle to the nearby police station after the driver had fled. But, on the way to the police station, the driver had lost control, hit another vehicle and fatally wounded another.
I read this with a sad heart, but then it was time for me to get ready to work, so got myself going. But then, at 10am when the cab should have come home to pick me up, the travels guy calls up and says there has been an accident, you take an auto and get to work.
I presumed that it would be a minor accident and got to work. I reach Tidel and even before I get to the office, I meet one of my friends and he asks “did you know about the accident?” and then I get the details.
The vehicle, in which I had traveled till the previous night and the same one that should have been at my place that morning, had met with a nasty accident that morning en route to our place to drop another colleague…the driver had rammed into a stationary lorry and both of them were taken to GH and then shifted to Apollo. The driver was unconscious till that afternoon and was supposed to be in a critical situation but thankfully started to recover in the evening.
I did not realize the intensity of the accident till I saw the crashed vehicle myself. The Ambassador, supposed to be one of the sturdiest on Indian roads was reduced to a crumpled mess. The entire front portion was smashed, and the top was completely gone. All that remained was that back, every other part of the car was a mess.
Seeing the car I realized that they were really lucky to get alive out of that car.

The little girl she said to me
What are these things that I can see
Each night when I come home from school
And mama calls me in for tea
Oh every night a baby dies
And every night a mama cries
What makes those men do what they do
To make that person black and blue
Grandpa says their happy now
They sit with God in paradise
With angels’ wings and still somehow
It makes me feel like ice

Tell me there’s a heaven
Tell me that it’s true
Tell me there’s a reason
Why I’m seeing what I do
Tell me there’s a heaven
Where all those people go
Tell me they’re all happy now
Papa tell me that it’s so

So do I tell her that it’s true
That there’s a place for me and you
Where hungry children smile and say
We wouldn’t have no other way
That every painful crack of bones
Is a step along the way
Every wrong done is a game plan
To that great and joyful day

And I’m looking at the father and the son
And I’m looking at the mother and the daughter
And I’m watching them in tears of pain
And I’m watching them suffer
Don’t tell that little girl
Tell me
Tell me there’s a heaven
Tell me that it’s true
Tell me there’s a reason
Why I’m seeing what I do

Tell me there’s a heaven
Where all those people go
Tell me they’re all happy now
Papa tell me that it’s so

From Nature

fragile and surrounded by the unseen….and we go along…spinning the web of life…

At times, we are happy about the way life goes…happy in the web we’ve spun around us…

At times, life freaks us out and we run around like crazy….only to realize we are stuck in our own web….

At times, we leave the web and venture out on a solid wall…. to realize there’s much happening beyond our boudaries… we might find another web – just like us, we might find others, willing or unwilling to talk to us…. to invite us in….

At times, we find our friends vanish overnight… did they really care all the while? or was that your assumption? You may wonder and never know the truth….

At times, we find that with one sudden, clean swipe the world around us is shattered and gone forever…

At times, we find that we can create a new web all over again…

until…. the end of our web brings our life to an end ….

There was this soul on earth living within a cheerful lad. And even as everyone said he was so handsome and cheerful, his soul wasnt happy. No matter how much he tried, he could not lift his soul to a cheerful state. Even when he managed to be happy from within it lasted just for a little while before someone came along and bruised his soul.
Then one day, came a friend who tried to help him out. He refused to speak his heart out saying he didn’t want to depend on anyone. But she was patient and had her way. He got to speak about his worries, his troubles, and every little thing. And so, the days went by….his soul was getting happier and he was happy too.
One day, as usual, his soul was pondering over something…something that made him feel agitated and so he called his friend. But she was too busy this time and told him he should not be expecting her to be able to talk 24 hours a day….and so, the soul came back bruised and battered….struggling to trust again…struggling with that something that was agitating…and so he was…back to square one.
On that fateful day, he made a decision that he would not depend on anyone else…and his soul too decided not too open up and share the thoughts within, with anyone else….
so, the days went by…gloomy and gray for him and his soul. It was indeed quite painful for him to get over his friend and her untimely rejection…well, is there a timely rejection???

Let me state it for the benefit of those who don’t know it – I am on my own now. Ya, after living for more than 2 decades with my parents am out in the wild for the past few months. Not a great thing, but then it is something I am really enjoying. I started off by living in an apartment with 2 of my collegues. From the beginning of this month, I am on my own. It is a dream come true. I have always wanted to live on my own – to have my own space (not just a room!!), to own that space and do all that I want to do.
There are a few things that are incomprehensible for some people. Quite often I get questions like What do you do all day over the weekend?, do you stay quiet all day?, don’t you get bored? Don’t you want company? and so on…
For me, staying on my own is a great thing to do. I would rather have my own space and live on my own than live with someone else and share my space. I love to go to a silent home – a place where I can do anything I wanna do, anytime, and anyway
You might even think I am a loner – at times I do think so myself. I know that not many people can tolerate silence – or rather they can’t be by themselves. They need the company of others irrespective of whether those around them are likeminded, and so on. But then, they would be likeminded coz ll of these people would not want to be left alone. I would say it is quite important to be comfortable with yourself and do things on your own. For me, that is how I think I grow – by doing things on my own and not depending on others. Does that shout Individualistic? Ya, I think that is something good.
So, when someone finds it odd that I can stay on my own, I find it odd that someone can’t be comfortable being on their on their own. How can you be always dependent on another’s presence? How can you not be happy with yourself?
As for me, I am enjoying my newfound freedom – enjoying to the limits…:)