Posts Tagged ‘fear’

I went on a trip…

Monday, August 20th, 2007

Me and my friend, we are traveling together – happily walking around the streets of this exotic locale. It is more of those historic locales (not ruins!) – exquisite houses and beautiful lanes, cheerful people, and so on. As we stand there talking to someone, we hear the drum beats – not that incessant loud ones – but more like the marching kinds. We stand there listening for a min – if we were dogs, you could see our ears prick up – and there we hear it again.

All of a sudden, our friend pushes us inside the house nearby! My friend rushes in and I try to get in behind her. Fear and danger is in the air. You can feel it everywhere – in the air you breathe, in the eyes of the strangers and friends. I’ve hardly gotten my entire self inside, those people came and asked for us. They protected us – they lied to those people. We were saved – albeit for a while.

We sit there chatting, my protector and I, about the little things in life. It’s night time and everyone’s going to sleep.

Soon, someone comes running in – out of breath – and says we were seen by those people. Those people had seen us in the neighboring street and are bound to search the houses in the neighborhood. That panic finds its home in us.

Where do we hide? The big question for the moment – we need some place for the two of us. I look up and see the things piled up in the attic – old boxes, unused things. We’d hide behind those things. So, up goes my friend and I give her our bags and shoes and climb up. We lie down, hoping they don’t bring dogs.

Soon, those people come and search the house – and leave without finding us. Once they’ve left, we get down, bring those bags and shoes down too. Oh, I can’t find one of my shoes, and there it is in that corner.
Oh, look at that man staring at us – time to find another safe place. Get ready fast, let’s go…

Did we find a safe place? Did they find us? I don’t know…I woke up – my alarm’s ringing…time to get up and get started with the day!

Time and rejection….

Thursday, September 14th, 2006

There was this soul on earth living within a cheerful lad. And even as everyone said he was so handsome and cheerful, his soul wasnt happy. No matter how much he tried, he could not lift his soul to a cheerful state. Even when he managed to be happy from within it lasted just for a little while before someone came along and bruised his soul.
Then one day, came a friend who tried to help him out. He refused to speak his heart out saying he didn’t want to depend on anyone. But she was patient and had her way. He got to speak about his worries, his troubles, and every little thing. And so, the days went by….his soul was getting happier and he was happy too.
One day, as usual, his soul was pondering over something…something that made him feel agitated and so he called his friend. But she was too busy this time and told him he should not be expecting her to be able to talk 24 hours a day….and so, the soul came back bruised and battered….struggling to trust again…struggling with that something that was agitating…and so he was…back to square one.
On that fateful day, he made a decision that he would not depend on anyone else…and his soul too decided not too open up and share the thoughts within, with anyone else….
so, the days went by…gloomy and gray for him and his soul. It was indeed quite painful for him to get over his friend and her untimely rejection…well, is there a timely rejection???

Health…

Monday, May 9th, 2005

Though I am a lean girl making a lot of people think I am a sickly person, fortunately for me, am not ….I would say, am much healthier than most people who claim to have a good diet, who travel less…and in fact, going by the sick leave stats, I would consider myself healthier than most in office who don’t miss a chance to give me some “tips” or should I say “advice” (unasked for) regarding my food habits….based on their assumption that I don’t have enough food….:)
I had almost forgotten how it would be to fall sick…that was until a few days ago…I can cope with a bout of fever or headache… there is just one thing that can make me go flat in a matter of minutes…it is the only illness I seem to suffer from with unfailing regularity…once in a while, my tummy decides to lodge a protest …and that would result in a severe bout of diarrhea, vomiting…and the climax would be a few minutes of unconsciousness….all these would last for just a few minutes but would leave me drained out to the bone…
Sometime last week, I had gone down to food court for my breakfast…had “aloo paratha”…I need to add here that I don’t test everything that is on the menu…quite conscious of my tummy, I always stick to a few things…so, invariably my breakfast would end up being either bread n egg or idly or aloo paratha…I had my breakfast, and when I was to get back the elevators were not functioning….waited for a while….and then decided to take the stairs….now, I have walked up the 11 floors before, but I think waling up immediately after a meal was a bad idea…didn’t realize it then!! By the time I reached the 11th floor, I was exhausted…was wondering if I had gotten a bit weaker…just a few minutes later, my entire breakfast came out…felt better after that…told myself that I would never take the stairs again….
Yesterday seemed to be quite a normal day….went for class…since the afternoon session was cancelled, managed to get back home in time for lunch…had a good meal of chicken biryani…the day was quite hot….the summer peak in Chennai is not something you can sit back and enjoy….was barely managing to get through when the chicken decided to get out….now, that resulted in diarrhea and vomiting….the only thing I fear…I fear? Yes, I fear because it leaves me weak….I fear coz I know it needn’t always hit me in the comfort of my home…I fear coz I can’t help but wonder if I would survive to face another day…I fear it most coz that is when I long for the comfort I would never get…
Back to normal today…hope I won’t have another spell for a long time to come…