The word that does not always get a response
The word that does not always get the right response

I wonder why, I wonder how, I wonder what made you think the way you did
I wish I knew, I wish I had the answer.
But, there are things beyond comprehension.

I wonder if I will ever know!

Are you angry?
No

Are you hurt?
Yes

Are you sad?
Yes

But then, you never go beyond the first question.

This was the question that caused a rather cryptic outburst of ‘none of your business.’

Last Sunday, I was at the bus stand after service. It was past 8 pm and I was trying to find a bus to get home as fast as I can. Now, Secunderabad isn’t the best place to board a bus if you which bus stops at which bus stand. In this city, there are very few bus stands that have boards with the bus numbers stopping there. Where I come from, that is quite common and I know if am at the right bus stop or not. ‘Ask someone,’ I hear you say. Well, you should try doing that near the Sec’bad railway station where every other soul is as clueless as you are and to make things worse, the bus stands are spread over a large area.

Btw, am not new to Sec’bad – been going there almost every weekend for service. I do know the bus stand to get home. Last Sunday, I thought I’d try a different route and went to the other bus stop. I was standing there for a while, and then realized I’d be better off going home the usual way.

So, I started walking towards the other bus stop. Just then, this guy came up to me and asked where am going. Well, truly ‘tis none of his business. I don’t like people poking their nose in the pretext of helping – Not in the state this world is in. And I did tell him that it was none of his business. Not the nicest of responses – but there are times I cant help myself being curt. I just say it and then go ‘oops! Did I hear that??!!!’ So, that was how it was – and he said, ‘ yes, I know it is none of my business… but there are some people behind you…you got to be careful!’ So, I had to turn around and tell him that he did sound like one of them and hope he’d understand why I gave that rude a response. He said he did understand and walked away.

Oh ya, so, probably (so very probably!), he really wanted to help. However, as much as I might try to believe that – I just can’t get myself to. Something was wrong – so, if someone was ‘behind’ me, why ask me where am going. I don’t understand – probably, that was the first thing he could think of… who knows…

All that he did was to freak me out – in a place where I don’t speak either of the major languages, it can be quite freaky. I took the first bus that went anywhere near home and got out of that place!

Sounds great, huh? Really it’s nothing great…am talking about me and myself! Oh ya, at times i do feel like my own defense attorney. Many a time, I have to really defend myself – say regarding the way I am, the way I do things, what I do, how I live and so on…
Finding myself quite often in the minority doesn’t help! Take for example, something as simple as calling home can make people raise eyebrows. Now I don’t call home everyday. I call only when I need to. A simple thing as this puzzles many. Why? Because you are expected to stay in touch with your folks each and every day – or at least that is the norm.
I have the same issue with my choice of entertainment – any day I would choose a book over a movie and the internet (includes blogging, info search, mail, chat, etc) over the TV. As a result of which I can count the number of movies I have watched over the past few years and the same goes for the number of hours I have spent in front of the television. This again is quite incomprehensible to quite a lot of people.
And how can I forget the oft repeated question of late – “how can you stay all alone?” These days many of my pals wonder how on earth am I staying alone – the questions range from concerns about boredom to queries about managing on my own, things like how do I manage, what do I do over the weekend and so on…mystifies a many. And when I say I like it this way, the responses vary from simple shrugs to concerned queries.
Well, a girl staying on her own isn’t commonplace yet – but what’s wrong? Am sure there isn’t anything strange in it. Just because it isn’t the well-trodden path doesn’t mean something’s wrong.
I would say all these happen because people find it hard to accept something that moves away from the general trend. General perception is that something’s wrong and it should be reasoned out!!! I’ve had a number of friends who have tried to reason out things – all the while refusing to see the other side of the coin.
Thankfully, or rather quite fortunately, I have found a few people like me – like the proverbial drops in the ocean….